A Bandaged Heart
by Arinia
Summary: Oneshot Missing scene BUABS: You're not very good at keeping promises, Dean.


**A/N: **So after finishing BUABS, I just had to write this little one-shot/missing scene. I wanted a chick-flick moment! I hope I'm not alone on this one! Only warning is that there's angst and brotherly love (and some language too) so if that isn't your cup of tea I suggest you click your back button. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** If I owned them, I'd be filthy rich and there would be a lot more chick-flick moments on the show, believe me.

**A Bandaged Heart**

If Dean Winchester ever got the chance to go back in time, this was one event in his life he would not want to revisit.

The past week had been hell to be perfectly frank and Dean was emotionally and physically spent. It was not only due to the fact that his little brother had been possessed—and acting so unlike himself it made Dean shudder to think about—but it also opened a whole new can of worms. A can Dean had been desperately trying to keep closed ever since his Dad had whispered those life-changing words to him. And now sitting in the car, watching Sam stare listlessly out the window, Dean couldn't help but think of those words now.

_"If you can't save Sammy, you have to kill him Dean."_ Dean clenched the steering wheel. He'd be damned if it ever came to that. He glanced back over at his brother. He looked like shit, like the life had been sucked out of him and all that was left was an empty shell. Dean was briefly reminded of pod people, but this time he wasn't laughing at the thought.

"So Sam, what was it like to have a chick inside you? Indulge yourself in shopping sprees and perfume?" Sam painted a thin smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" he said jokingly but Dean wasn't buying it. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, hoping desperately that he would find a motel. Maybe after a good nights sleep he could wake up and find out this was all some twisted dream. Dean frowned. And while he was at it Mom and Dad would be alive and they'd all be one big happy family again. Finally Dean spotted a sign that read _Comfort Inn_ in tacky red lights.

"Yeah I bet it's real comfortable," Dean muttered. "Come on sunshine, I think some sleep will do you some good."

Mr. Sandman decided to skip the Winchester's that night. The two brothers lay in the dark, trying to feign sleep. Dean faced the window; his hand gripping the knife underneath is pillow tightly. Once in awhile he noiselessly rolled over to check on Sam, who had his back turned to him. Sam was facing the wall, his thoughts plagued by what he'd done. _I shot Dean. Oh God, I shot Dean!_ He gripped the bed sheets tightly. The guilt was overwhelming. This was like Dr. Ellicott all over again and that had been hard enough to get over. Sam knew he had created deeper wounds this time around. He squeezed his eyes shut and dug his nails into the palm of his hand. Why hadn't Dean kept his promise and killed him? Then he would have never hurt him.

"Dean?" Same spoke-up. It was time to settle this.

"Yeah?"

"You're not very good at keeping promises." Dean's answer came out as a laugh.

"What?" Sam frowned in the dark.

"You know what I'm talking about." There was a long pause.

"Come on Sammy it's four in the morning! Can't we talk about this later?" Sam sighed. Trust Dean to try and shove the heavier subjects aside. Usually Sam complied and left the issues be but this time he had to make Dean understand.

"You promised Dean. You looked me in the eye and promised." Sam heard Dean shift in the bed.

"I lied," Dean answered with a short laugh. Sam sat up straight and looked over at his brother.

"Damnit Dean this isn't funny! You could have been," Sam took a shuddering breath and finished shakily, "killed." It was Dean's turn to sit up.

"Christ Sammy, that wasn't you. I don't care about that."

"But I do! What if I had killed you? I…I couldn't live with that." Sam shook at the very thought.

"Nah, you're too much of a wuss to kill me." Sam clenched his fists angrily. They were getting nowhere.

"Dean, you _have_ to kill me. I already killed an innocent man. What if you're next?"

"Sam…"

"What if I turn into some…monster and I kill you? What if I go on some murderous rampage and you're caught in the crossfire?" Sam's voice shook heavily.

"Sammy…"

"I can't do it myself Dean. I…need you to. Please Dean. Please. I wouldn't…couldn't…"

"SAM!" Sam jumped and quit his ramblings. "How many times do I have to drill it into your girly skull you're not going to turn into some murderous freak? I won't let you. I'll sit through Titanic before I ever let some punk ass demon take you down." Sam ignored the humour in the sentence.

"Dean," he pleaded in a whisper, "It wouldn't be fair to you."

"You're damn right it wouldn't be fair to me! I'm not killing my own brother! How could you even think I would Sam?" Sam swallowed loudly. "I'm not some psycho who goes around killing their own family! My only family," he added softly. Sam felt what little barriers he had somehow retained crumble down as he hid face in his hands.

"Dean…I'm scared," he whispered, voicing all the feelings he had felt ever since Dean had revealed the secret. Dean sighed heavily and placed a comforting hand on his knee.

"You're not alone on that kiddo." Sam kneaded his forehead with his knuckles.

"Why me Dean? Why the hell did it pick me?" Sam could feel his eyes burning and he furiously rubbed at them. Dean squeezed his knee gently. "I wish I never found out about the supernatural. I wish I had never been born."

"Don't say that Sammy," Dean said softly. He moved to sit beside Sam and place an arm around his shoulders. Sam fought hard to keep back the tears.

"If I hadn't been born none of this would have ever happened. Mom would still be alive, Dad would still be alive, and Jessica would still be alive. You're better off without me," he finished almost desperately. Dean knew it was time to go into Awesome-Big-Brother-Mode to fix Sam's heart. He moved closer and squeezed his shoulder.

"If you hadn't been born, a hell of a lot of people would be in the morgue right about now. And I wouldn't be half the chick magnet I am today if it weren't for my oh-so adorable little bro tagging along every where I went." Sam smiled but a tear slipped out of his eye. Big brother reflexes still intact, Dean quickly brushed the tear away with his thumb. "So you better accept that I'm not killing you Sammy, no way in hell. If it's the last damn thing I do I will torture that son of a bitch and make him pay." Sam sniffled and rubbed his nose. He was starting to feel better. Knowing that Dean's soft side would quickly be closing he leaned into him gently, wanting to savor every last moment of peace he could get. Dean pulled him in tighter and they sat there, staring at the moonlight. After awhile, Dean could hear Sam's breathing start to even out so he gently lay him down on his bed and threw the covers over him. Crawling into his own bed, Dean felt like a weight had been lifted off of him. But he couldn't go to bed without reassuring Sam that things were back to normal.

"Hey Sammy."

"Yeah?"

"If I ever see you steal some shit ass car like that again, you're walking to our next hunt." Sam softly laughed. Dean faced the window again satisfied. A bandaged heart, smart-ass remarks, all in a day's work for the best big brother in the world. And Dean wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
